Resource—
Toileting is one of those big ticks of development we expect for our toddlers; along with crawling, walking & talking. And there is a lot of one-upmanship in whose child is the first to be in undies, or who’s dry through the night.
So! Take a deep breath folks, relax about this and don’t get caught up in who’s doing what in regards to ‘toilet-training’ (We don’t think that ‘toilet training’ is the best word to use – perhaps ‘toilet learning’ is a better word!). Either way, research shows, the benefits of waiting until your child is actually ready, not when you are ready, often means an easier happier transition and you can go straight from nappies to undies in a matter of days, bypassing the potty and going straight to the toilet. Whoop whoop!
Have a calm, relaxed household! If you are going through a lot of change (change in the daily routine, moving house, new sibling, new job etc), this will affect your child’s ability to retain control of her bladder/bowels. The last thing a stressed-out child needs is more pressure to learn a new and tricky skill.
If your child has just discovered the delightful wonders of the word “no”, then take yet another deep breath, and put off toileting until they are a little bit more agreeable. Two year olds are delightfully strong-willed!
Pausing, finding a hiding space, making noises and grimaces when having a bowel motion
Doesn’t like a wet or dirty nappy
Starts to tell you they are about to, or have just done a wee or poo
Showing an interest in the toilet – wants to watch other family members go to the toilet or talking about using it themselves
Is able to pull down their pants and then pull them back up again
Coming from experience, we recommend going straight to the toilet. When using the potty, often you will need to then re-do the whole process to get your child confident and comfortable to then go on the toilet. And let’s face it – who wants to do this twice?!
• Get a cool special step for the child to step up on
Get a child’s toilet seat so the child doesn’t feel scared of falling in the toilet
Praise
Use lots and lots of positive happy praise with a big smile on your face. Praise all the steps and efforts the child makes. “Wow Molly! You look like you are enjoying sitting on the loo”. “Awesome Molly, I love the way you have pulled your own pants down”.
And then praise more! Praise, praise, praise. You will be exhausted from praising! Think American sit-com and then praise more!
There is a lot of info about this; for and against. We believe there is nothing wrong with using rewards to encourage your child and to acknowledge your child when they have accomplished a wee or a poo on the loo.
If you are going to use a sticker etc, only use specific ‘special’ stickers for toileting only. Don’t hand them out willy-nilly for everything, otherise they will lose their impact.
Keep the special stickers close by and give out immediately. Toddlers live in the moment and the reward needs to be instant. A sticker on the hand is simple, stress-free and effective. Sticker charts are usually a bit too complicated for toddlers.
Only reward with sticker etc when they have actually achieved something, don’t cave in, as again, they will lose their effectiveness!
Yep, it may feel like 3 steps forward, 1 step back, but keeping it positive & stressfree will get you to the finishing line quickly!
If your child has an accident, the less fuss the better. Put your energy into responding positively – “Oops-a-daisy, let’s get some dry clothes”.
Punishment will not help.
We do find that when your child is at Riverside, they will probably have more accidents than they do at home. The children are busier, absorbed in their play and do not want to leave to go to the loo. Fair enough! Don’t make a big deal of the accidents at pick up and pack lots of spare clothes!
Buy some new cool undies for your child to wear that they are proud of and like – take them shopping with you to choose!
Put a ping pong in the toilet for your boy to practice aiming at – lets face it, boys are all about fun games and even grown up boys have terrible aim!
Let your child flush the toilet – it’s the small things that are fun!
Keep nappies only for sleep time. Don’t lose energy and put them in nappies for a day, it’s so confusing for the child
Just get prepared, get you and your child into the mindspace and go, and remember that learning to use the toilet is a process and takes time. Trust that your child will learn it when they are ready. And talk to us, we’re here to help and support!
